This week marks 18 weeks in our pregnancy. Who would have ever imagined being at this point? Certainly not me. Dealing with infertility for as long as we did, the emotions just don't go away. My heart is sensitive to others around me battling infertility and loss. I never thought I could say this, but I am grateful to have experienced our journey. There is a certain compassion that comes from dealing with infertility and loss, that those who have not experienced one or both, can't understand. The empathy is deep.
In our case of infertility, the hurt and longing for something we never had is a specific grief. For those who have experienced loss, that is a specific grief. In our loss of our adoption, that was a different type of grief. And yet, through it all, there is hope, love, and support from the Lord, family, and friends. Once I was finally able to share with people, it became easier to talk about. My friends and family new what to ask, because I would help to guide them. Being able to share with the people I love and trust was very freeing.
Our 5 1/2 year journey has brought us here - being able to share one of God's greatest gifts - the gift of life. I think of our long awaited gift, and how the Lord has turned my mourning into dancing, and I am overcome with sweet joy. This week is our 18th week in our pregnancy, and today we should find out what we are having. I was like a little kid the night before school and was too excited to sleep - at least some of the night.
I will keep you posted as we celebrate this special day.